Trying Versus Doing

Trying got me here. Doing keeps me here.

Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on the power of “trying.” Maybe other leaders do this, but I find myself saying, “we’re trying,” or “out here trying,” whenever anyone pays me a compliment related to progress they’re seeing, or achievements they’re crediting to me.

The Compliment that Called Me Out

Not too long ago, one of my dearest colleagues turned good friends challenged that phrase. Following a meeting I led, he said, “You did a good job today.”

“I’m trying,” I quickly responded.

“What do you mean trying? You’re doing it!”

Now, listen. Was he right? Of course. Could I accept that? Maybe internally, but I joked it off. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t stick with me for the rest of the day.

That moment got me thinking about how often we, as humans, quietly move the goalposts on ourselves. How the “doing” of yesterday suddenly becomes only “trying” today. And gosh, what do we rob ourselves of celebrating when we do that?

And that reflection sent me down another rabbit hole — thinking about all the opportunities that have come my way simply because I tried something in the first place.

When “Trying” Opened Doors

I think back to my first year at Otterbein University, after serving my first term as one of two Professional Studies Senators in student government. As elections rolled around, it appeared that no one was going to run for Treasurer.

Now… there are plenty of people in this world who would tell you Jeremy should not be the one managing a budget — two of those people raised me lol.

But there was something in me that said, “try it!” So, knowing I would be unopposed… I tried it.

The learning, however, came from the doing.

Similarly, the following year, it became clear that no one planned to run for President. Knowing I would be unopposed… I tried it.

The learning came from the doing.

Trying on a Career

Fast forward a few years… I wasn’t initially placed with a Graduate Assistantship for my dream master’s program, meaning that unless I secured a position, I wasn’t going to be able to attend. Then I received an email from the Assistant Director of Sorority & Fraternity Life, inviting me to interview for their open assistantship.

I’ll be honest, the idea of working in Sorority & Fraternity Life had never crossed my mind. I went to a small undergraduate institution where two out of 14 organizations were inter/national; the rest were local. As someone who now oversees Fraternity & Sorority Life at a school with 22,000 students, it makes me laugh out loud that a mere six years ago, I had no idea what the NIC or NPC were…

But I knew I wanted to go to Ohio University. And when the choice became “don’t go to Ohio University” or “try”… I tried.

Again, the learning came from the doing, and I quickly learned how much I loved this work.

The Real Question

So now, as I’m typing this and reflecting, I’m realizing there’s another key question in all of this, one that’s sitting with me right now:

What would you try if you were unopposed?

Unopposed for that dream job or that dream master’s program.
Unopposed for that role on your executive board.
Unopposed for the person you’ve dreamed of falling in love with.

And let’s call a spade a spade… what would it feel like if you stopped being your own opposition?

Stop Opposing Yourself

Trust me, I know that may come off harsh. I recognize it may feel a bit preachy. But what I also know is that on this day, I caught myself doing it. I convinced myself I was trying when I was doing.

That said, I hope you never lose sight of the value of trying. But I also hope you never minimize yourself the way I did. I wasn’t trying to lead a meeting or an initiative.
I was leading a meeting.
I am leading an initiative.

Moral of the Story

You try on pants once. You wear pants after you buy them.
You walk into a room once to see if it feels like community. Then you show up, contribute, and belong there.
Trying is the doorway. Doing is how you build a life on the other side of it.

You only try once at things you do for a lifetime.