Three Things I Took Home from AFLV Central

We got home about a week ago from AFLV Central, and if we have anything in common, you probably found yourself needing some real, intentional time to reflect on the impact of the marathon that is a leadership development conference. I sometimes catch myself thinking, how lucky are we to be this excited about early mornings and late nights?

As a fraternity man and as a campus professional, there’s always something special about turning the JW Marriott into the world’s biggest chapter room for a weekend.

This year felt especially meaningful for me, as it was my first time attending AFLV Central as part of the ForCollegeForLife team. I don’t take the privilege of hosting three programs at AFLV Central lightly, especially considering they are my three signature programs.

While there are countless takeaways I could share, I’m challenging myself to name one takeaway from each program.

Every Day Is for the Boys: Redefining Brotherhood was the energizer I needed on the conference’s first full day. Sixty men filled the room quickly, leaving no seats for any last-minute stragglers (which absolutely would have been me as a student).

What continues to stand out to me is this: men are ready for this conversation.

They’re ready to challenge one another to be better. They’re ready to build deeper friendships. They just haven’t always been given the language or permission to practice it.

When we help young men understand that vulnerability and accountability are the two most important factors in authentic male friendship, they lean in. They get excited. They begin outlining ways to bring this back to their chapters.

They know they’re lonely.
They know their peers are lonely.

Once fraternity men realize they’re part of the cure to the male loneliness epidemic, we’ll never have to argue the value of fraternity again. Fraternity done the right way doesn’t just change chapters, it makes the world better.

“Dysfunction, Dysfunction, What’s Your Function?” applies Patrick Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team to fraternity and sorority life. My biggest takeaway?

When students have shared language and usable frameworks, they are incredibly equipped to interrupt dysfunction at its root.

Dysfunction doesn’t have to be a dirty word.

When students step back and assess where things are breaking down, they often realize it’s their systems, not their people, that are failing them. After all, how could the same issues keep repeating year after year with new leaders if it were only about individuals?

Given time, space, and tools, students want to be solution-oriented.

Unpolished Leadership: Own Your Mess happened in the final education block of the weekend, the moment when it’s tempting to mentally check out.

That is not what happened. Students showed up. Fully.

The power structures and leadership hierarchies are hard to dismantle. But when students are given permission to claim a leadership identity regardless of title or position, they start showing up as the leaders they hope to become.

I was also reminded that we aren’t giving students enough time to sit in their leadership.

We throw them into the fire.
But we don’t always coach them through reflection.

We don’t consistently ask them to consider whether their leadership aligned with or didn’t align with their personal values. Sometimes, we don’t even give them space to identify those values.

We move so quickly to the next thing that we miss the opportunity to learn ourselves.

Once we give students permission to START leading, they rise to the occasion.
Every time.

If you attended AFLV Central this year, I’d love to hear from you.

What were your key takeaways?
What did you learn about yourself?
How will you apply that learning back on your campus?

Let’s keep the conversation going. For more information about these programs, check out my ForCollegeForLife Webpage by clicking here!